I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.

Main reason Santa is so jolly: because he knows where all the bad girls live

I will temporarily rule the world, forever.

If everything is coming your way, your in the wrong lane.

If I could get a firm grip on reality, I'd choke it.

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

The problem with reality is a lack of background music.

Straight is something crooked that was bent.

The more you complain, the longer God makes you live.

Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any.

Assassins do it from behind.

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

Oh lord, give me patience. AND GIVE IT TO ME NOW!

Learn from your parents' mistakes: use birth control.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted then used against you.

Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals. I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

Linnéa briljerar

"Va blir de för mat ida?" -Felicia

"När ja gick förbi luktade det sött och salt på samma gång." -Ida

"Jaha, kycklinggryta!" -Néa

"lol xD" -Alla

RSS 2.0